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It Occurred to Me That I Love You by Ellen Huang


to three college loves


to the roommate

it occurred to me that i love you

sun on our faces, breeze in our sails

your hair still sparkled with pixie dust and bubble-gun fights

you were made of neverland and heaven and sight—

i want you in my life.


to the fellow asexual

it occurred to me that i love you

when you turned out to be kin

we were two halves of a starfish

we were made of the same ink

our colors spilled on the green grass and i think:

i want you in my life.


to the friend-crush

it occurred to me that i love you

when you leaned your head on my shoulders

just sitting in the circle of quiet space

no countdown no pressure no losing you

you so freely said you loved me and i knew

i want you in my life.


what do i do to keep you all beside me?

what do i do to hold on to the tangible blessings

pixie dust, kin and ink, just leaning


what do i do to keep you?

pirate shanties, coffee shops, wholesome warmth

the ocean waves crashing, our laughter returning.


what do i do to keep you?

your faith, your edge, your embrace

taste of adventure tea

gifts of crafted googly-eyed ghosts

frozen blueberries staining our hands

please tell me, what do i do to keep you?

i want you in my life.



Bio: Ellen Huang (she/her) is an aro/ace fantasy writer with a BA in Writing + Theatre minor from Point Loma Nazarene University, a peer reader for Whale Road Review, a director of original human skits, and a lover of the strange and unusual. She has pieces published in Kissing Dynamite, Amethyst Review, Sword & Kettle Press, and more. She lives in San Diego with her pan roommate and a pet dragon. She also runs a blog where she explores her spirituality through books and movies. Follow if you wanna: worrydollsandfloatinglights.wordpress.com

Twitter handle: nocturnalxlight

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