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  • Tealight Press

e l i x i r by Ellie Mental

You will need:

150g of your heart's desire,

80g of reasonable expectations, to balance,

A pinch of your favourite season,

2 tsp of the love of your friends and family,

1 large hug,

225g of the music that makes you laugh,

½ tsp of your most joyful memories,

¼ tsp of bittersweet loss, to add experience,

200g of assorted items that, when held, make you smile (could be books, vinyls, clothes and photographs!)

and a big, deep breath.

Fill your cauldron half full with rain

from a moonlit sky

and set over a roaring fire,

the kind that speaks to autumn nights

and bonfires in a field.

Add the 150g of your hearts desire,

along with the 80g of reasonable expectations,

stir counterclockwise until glowing,

but not until the sulphur begins to rise.

Combine the pinch of your favourite season

with the 2tsp of the love

of your friends and family,

into a bowl gifted to you

by a fond old roommate,

and mix until it is the consistency

of your first kiss.

Add to the cauldron along with

the 1 large hug

and bring to the boil,

watching closely for the moment

where the bubbles resemble the weather

you most enjoy.

Sift 225g of music that makes you laugh,

½ tsp of your most joyful memories,

and ¼ tsp of bittersweet loss

over your 200g of assorted items that,

when held,

make you smile,

which should be laid out in a circle,

spaced as tightly as your breath

when your crush looks at you.

Simmer over a low and gentle heat

for as long as it takes

for you to clear your mind, and,

when you're ready,

take the big, deep breath,

hold it for as long as you can,

and slowly let it out.

Leave the potion to cool over night,

before using it to bathe in

and wash all your worries away.


Ellie Mental is a non-binary trans poet from Edinburgh. Her poems are a deeply personal and introspective view into her life and experiences as a trans woman with autism, cPTSD, dissociative identity disorder and borderline personality disorder.

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